Today I was out for a date with my dear friend Kadie. We were having all kinds of wonderful chat time, and sharing what had been going on in our lives in the last few months. While we talked, I thought about how lovely it is to spend quality time with a person – to slow down long enough to appreciate the gift of a person I have before me right now.
I know I’m not the only person who is busy. I have a to-do list that occasionally seems longer than the hours that remain in my life. I have stacks of thank you cards I should write, emails I should send or reply to, people I need to catch up with, my family members I ought to call, not to mention the usual time killers – laundry, dishes, cooking, and so forth. My to-do list does not make me special. What makes me special is the moment when I am able to tuck away that list, look into my friend’s eyes, and listen to her heart.
We live in a fast-paced, efficiency oriented world, and productivity is king. The temptation is to multitask all the time, but you cannot subject your relationships to schemes of efficiency. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of people that I know and care about in the world. Even if I only consider the people I know who live within five miles of me, there are still too many relationships in my own geographical vicinity to be able to commit fully to. I often feel guilty when I receive text messages or emails saying that I am missed, or that it’s been too long since I’ve written. I feel the same way.
But lately, I’ve been doing my best to let go of that guilt and trust that I am doing the right thing when I focus my attention on the beautiful individual that I have before me. I know that the people I am spending time with appreciate it when I listen to them not only with my ears, but also with my eyes, and don’t glance down at my phone while I’m listening. I trust that the next time that I am with those dear friends who text and email, they will appreciate that I am fully present in that moment that I am with them, and forgive me for the times I have been unavailable.
I am an infant in the art of giving and receiving love. I have everything yet to learn. But if I have learned one lesson, a lesson I am continuously, infinitely learning, it is that love is presence, and presence is love.